chapter 10

Dear Diary,
                             ................ is all i can comprehend right now. Tongue tied. lost. speechless. My brain has decided to desert me. Once again diary, i just froze and gawked at this boy. 


in the room

just as his lips parted to say something my door opened and he scurried his chair all the way to the wall, as far away from me as possible.



me : Thank god it was just the nurse. i swear i think i had a mini heart attack! 

rakan: hahahahaha you should have seen the look on your face! 

me : heyy not funny -.-


and like that diary, the next hour consisted of us making fun of each other and just catching up...

i didnt forget myself though. I'll regret this later but i need to tell him to go. It's getting too late.

me: umm rakan. umm what time is it?

rakan: like 11pm. why?

me: u-umm rakan, it's getting late....

rakan: hahaha okay okay, im going. but keep your phone with you.
i'll BBM you till you fall asleep.

he came closer to me just so we can say goodbye. 
dont get the wrong picture diary! he was standing up, so he was so tall compared to me. 
he bent down and gave me a hug, and after that all i could see was the mere shadow of his figure disappear beyond my hospital door as i fell asleep...

it was like his scent drugged me.   
how close he was to me, well just made me unconscious i guess. 
He wore my favorite perfume for men. 
i guess now i would say i overdosed on the scent and it put me in the happiest place ever. 
The entire world crashed around me and all i could do was cherish that moment for a while longer...

chapter 9

Dear Diary, 
                   i may be tied up in this hell hole, but i'm happy here. I don't have to worry about Bebe. I feel at peace...

on the phone to rakan

me: alo?

rakan: meera where have you disappeared to?

me: u-umm i- um 

rakan: meera whats that beeping sound?

me: uummm. rakan i-uum, im at the hospital, but im better now so dont worry

rakan: which hospital?

me: why?

rakan: meera which hospital? (i could hear the anger rising within him)

me: rakan why?

rakan: meera. which hospital?! (at this point he screamed at me and i jumped from his reaction)

me: ****** hospital

rakan: give me 15 minutes.

me: rakan no

all i could hear was the sound the beeping sound indicating the phone call ended. 

back in the room...

suddenly i heard a really fast bleeping sound and i didn't know where it was coming from. i looked to my left and saw the heart monitor beating rapidly. At that moment i put my hand to my heart, it felt like it was about to escape. 

Diary, its gonna be the first time i actually see rakan, like actually sit together, and and and well say something other than "hey, nice meeting you". The fact that he just screamed at me doesn't make it any better. saying i'm terrified and nervous would be an understatement. 

I tried getting my mind off of it but there was no use, just as i was about to turn on the tv, my door opened and rakan scurried in. 

rakan: meera... (i could see worry swimming in his beautiful brown eyes)

i guess he saw my soul flutter at the sight of him, because a cheeky grin got plastered on his face as he made his way to my side.

meera: u-um i-um  wh-what are you doing here? (yup i got tongue tied)

this boy could literally take my breath away.  

I love the way he gets wrinkles in the corner of his eyes every time he smiles.
i love the way his laugh automatically makes my heart pounce.
i love that scruffy look he has.
i love his defined jaw line.
i love his husky voice and how every time i hear it, i get lost in my own little world.
i love how he says my name, and how he cares. 
i even love his traditional khaleeji nose.
Most of all i love his soul and how he was so different, how he could captivate reality and how optimistic he was, how he always saw the good in people and turned their problems into his. 

To me this boy meant perfection, and he was all i wanted. He was the only person my heart let in and i didnt even know why. 


could it be? could i really be falling for him this easily? isnt it too soon? do i even believe in love at first sight?

rakan's mere chuckles dragged me out of my thoughts.
He grabbed the chair next to my bed and moved it closer to me and sat down.

we just gazed at each other, dumbfounded. 
He had beautiful eyes. The kind you could get lost in. The kind that would escape pictures. The kind that could absorb your soul and i guess they took me away. 

i quickly got back to reality and remembered that i was mad at him for 
1) screaming at me
2)coming to the hospital without asking (i mean what if my mum was here?)
3)for ignoring my question

me: ra-rakan. how did they let you in?

rakan: i told them i was your brother. 
           meera? are you upset? (i guess he sensed my irritation) 

after he said that, he inched his hand next to mine, and just as his hand touched mine for the first time, i froze and my face turned into all the different shades of pink and red that you could imagine. My insides fluttered, and once again, this boy made butterflies take over as he took my breath away for the second time in less than 30 minutes.

Diary, i guess i really am falling for him....

"i don't know how to answer. i know what i think, but words in the head are like voices underwater. they are distorted."

chapter 8

Dear diary,

                   where am i? i cant seem to open my eyes. i feel like the weight of the world has literally been placed on top of my entire body, as i also cant seem to lift a finger. All i could hear was a faint beeping sound in the mere distance. All i could smell was the strong scent of detol and medicine. 

All that went through my head was what the hell is going on? 

i tried taking in a deep breathe as i felt suffocated. i heard a very familiar voice. My mother. i finally got the energy to open my eyes, and right before i did all the events of last night played in my head. i tried getting up but squirmed from the pain. I opened my eye lids and saw these 4 plain walls surrounding me. yup you got it right diary, im still in the hospital.

in the room...

mama: meera! finally you woke up! 

           stop trying to move. i'll call the doctor.

the doctor came in and started telling me all the events of the following night. Apparently i had surgery. why? apparently i had kidney failure and the reason i threw up was because i got food poisoning oh and one more thing...

doctor: meera, you seem to have gone above natural stress levels and that wasn't helping your situation at all. All it did was add pressure to your kidney and make you weaker. 

The doctor said that and dissapered. My mother approached me in a manner that made every hair on my body and head stand right up. She looked at me very sternly, and i knew what was coming next. 

mama: meera would you like to tell me whats going on? (you guessed right diary. now shes gonna keep asking till i say something)

me: oh nothing, just my end of year exams have been on my mind lately.

After that she looked at me, she walked out, leaving me and my father behind.

baba: meera dont mind your mother, just get some rest. we'll go home and come back at 6. (it was 11am)

he kissed my forehead and walked out.

what was that all about?

how long do i have to stay here?

how long was i asleep for?

what am i supposed to do?

2 hours passed with me just staring at the dull muted tv, with not a thing to entertain me. i tried sighting my phone...

i turned my phone on, and as soon as that happened, i found literally 30 missed calls. 

Arwa tried calling around 15 times

Anoud tried calling 10 times 

Rakan tried calling 5 times

the date on my phone was set 2 days after the day i arrived to kuwait. That was weird. I'ts impossible that i slept through an entire day. knowing myself id probably wake up like 600 times.  

my phone froze. perfect. 

i restarted it and just as it opened, it wouldnt stop vibrating...

incoming call rakan 

my heart fell to the pit of my stomach when i read that and i could literally feel my heart beats accelerate in my ear. a smile spread itself across my face, and as soon as i realised i counted to 5 and picked up..

me: a- alo

rakan: .....

me: aloo, rakan?

rakan: ......

im so sorry for the delay. please forgive me. school started and i got caught up. i'll try posting again real soon. Tell me what you think x

"when my absence doesn't alter your life, then my presence has no meaning in it"