chapter 5

Dear Diary,
                  :'(((((  i swear i felt my heart just fall into my stomach. uff uff uff who does she think she is to check my contacts. what am i supposed to do now?!!

in the car with bebe...

me: oh him, umm he, umm is with me in school. yeah yeah hes with  me in school 

bebe: ahaaa... your parents know you talk to a guy?

me: hahah ofcourse,  im just friends with the guy, i didnt do anything wrong!

bebe: ahaa hmmm okay whatever, we're here.

me: (uff thank god, is time finally working in my favor?) okay thank you babe, i'll talk to you as soon as we land :*

back to reality.....

Diary, when she gave me back my phone i realized queen bebe opened my recent updates -.-
Anyway as soon as we checked in and finished everything, nothing is roaming in my head other than rakan and i dont know how to get him out :(
so i decided to talk to him but it wasnt awkward, he pretended like nothing happened :DDDDD *happy dance*


on BBM...

me: rakan i have to go, i'll tell you as soon as i land x

rakan: okay. take care x


back to reality....

My first 2 days in that country were perfect, me and rakan we're getting back on our friendship track and well life was going well, until 1 day when i tried to talk to bebe and she was all mad and fussy. whats wrong with her?

on bbm....

me: bebe whats wrong? why are you so mad at me? what did i do to you?!

bebe: oh nothing, i just never thought you were the type to talk to guys in that way


me: wth?! bebe i told you he's my friend from school! i cant believe you of all people would start judging me 

back to reality....

i swear diary like okay i liked rakan but i wasnt gonna let anything develop more than a friendship, and bebe knew me well enough to know how i am. i know i lied to her but if i told her the truth she would never understand and she would go and tell all my cousins and they'll tell my parents and then i'll get killed because everyone will get the wrong picture :'( </3




After that bebe started lecturing me about my reputation and how everyone knows us and how things spread quickly, like okay just stop talking! i get the picture! just leave me alone!

The next day

Diary, ive been so off ever since yesterday morning all because of bebe, my mood has gone down hill.... depression here i come. i dont even want to go out and i havent eaten because well i cant.

i feel so guilty for lieing to bebe but at the same time im so mad and pissed off at her for judging me like okay i did something wrong by becoming friends with a guy (in her eyes) but i swear he's a human not a monster, i dont get why its so bad to be friends with the opposite gender.

rakan started realizing that i was being off because i always used to answer his bbm's with one word or i would take hours to reply because honestly i know it sounds stupid now but i went through like a mini depression/ anxiety. All i did was sleep so i could get away from reality.

Diary, Bebe threatened to tell all my cousins and basically ruin me......



keep your head held high princess, your tiara is falling.